f I were asked to give one word describing my feelings about being a deaf-blind mom, "wonderful" leaps to mind. Yes, it's WONDERFUL being a mom and being a deaf-blind mom. Every mom shares a special joy and love for her child; a deaf-blind mom is no different.For months before my baby was born, I experienced the typical mom-to-be jitters. However, for me, my concerns were related to my deaf-blindness. Having grown up legally blind due to optic nerve damage, and losing my hearing in late childhood, I cannot rely on my hearing and can see only at close range. I wondered how would I know when the baby was crying? How was I going to change diapers? How was I going to feed the baby? How was I going to manage baths, without banging his head, or worse, drowning him?
During the months of pregnancy, I spent my free time researching every aspect of pregnancy, childbirth and infant and child care. I found the reading very educational; it helped me to be prepared for prenatal visits where I asked specific questions. I didn't attend childbirth classes because of limited time. However, I would recommend that anyone expecting their first baby consider childbirth classes. It's wise to learn beforehand what to expect.
Still, nothing prepared me for the moment when my baby entered the world on June 6, 1994, at 5:55 a.m. As I held him in my arms, looking down at his tiny face in wonder, I thought, "So, this is my new baby!" Joseph gazed right back at me with his big, blue eyes. He, too, must have been thinking, "So, this is my Mommy!"
I can't hear my baby cry . . .
Having a newborn in the midst of our family was truly the most challenging, rewarding experience. All of my pre-birth worries faded away as Joe and I became acquainted. I believe this is true for many new mothers and fathers. The only difference for me is quite obvious. I can't hear my baby cry, nor can I always see his facial expressions (and sometimes I get his socks mixed up!).
I learned how to use the good old sense of touch, smell and taste. By touching my newborn's hands, legs, face and throat, I sensed his mood. If he was crying, he would thrust his arms and legs, and push objects away. Of course, I also touched his throat to feel the vibrations.
The aid of a baby cry device designed for deaf people has become helpful. When Joe is down for a nap and I'm elsewhere in the house, the sensor detects his voice and the beeper I wear alerts me.
For an infant with irregular eating patterns, my sense of touch was useful. By lightly touching his lower lip, I knew he was hungry if he tried to "grab" my finger with his mouth. As he grew older, his eating patterns settled down, and meals became regular.
Motherhood means using all your senses . . .
Like touching, smelling told me if his diaper was wet and, of course, if he had pooped. Likewise, when I couldn't see if his clothes or bedding were dirty, my nose told me.
My sense of taste has become valuable as Joe's diet broadens. By tasting, I decide if the carrots or peas are just right for his sensitive digestive system.
As Joe and I grew to know each other, Iearned how to manage the regular moms' routines. I found changing diapers quite easy with the discovery of both cloth and disposable diapers with Velcro. Instead of sticky tape or prickly pins, Velcro makes it easy and safe. It goes without saying that practice helps, too. I change diapers in the back seat of the car and on the changing table while the baby is trying to crawl away.
My earlier readings had led me to decide to breastfeed my baby, thinking it would make things easier. It was a sound decision, one I will never regret. Nursing had the advantage of a simple, easygoing routine which allowed me to adjust to my new role and responsibilities. It helped Joe to become independent, yet it was the foundation of our bonding. When Joe's mom couldn't see his mouth fast enough, he would reach out for what he wanted himself. Furthermore, experts say breastfeeding is nutritionally better for the baby; it strengthens his immune system, it helps the mom regain her figure more quickly, and it costs nothing (except for renting or buying a breast pump when needed).
I can be like any other mom . . .
Bath time was made easy and fun with the use of an infant bath raft. A small inflatable float designed for newborns, it allowed Joe to lie and float in the tub without getting hurt. Later, as he began wriggling and turning over, I exchanged the raft for an infant bath seat. After Joe was sitting up on his own, he graduated to a bath ring. Now that Joe is a toddler, a simple rubber bath mat is all we need.
Learning everything I can about infant and child care is helping me to overcome my deaf-blindness to become a better mom. I realize that with some adaption, I can be like any other mom. For instance, by translating Joe's books into Braille, I can read whichever book he brings me. By playing games withour hands, using signs for everything, Joe is acquiring sign language. The most wonderful part of it all is the constant encouragement and trust from family and friends and, especially, from Joe's daddy. Their encouraging words keep me going when I begin to feel my limits.
Photo: Christy Cummings-Reid and her baby Joseph, age two months, share a sunrise on the beach at Fort Walton Beach, Florida, in August of 1994.